Not doing what others expect of you but what feels right to you.
Being authentic isn’t something that one is or isn’t. It’s a on-going practice. Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make. Its about the choice that allow us to show up and be real. It requires vulnerability, transparency and integrity.
We live in such a superficial society. One where you are allowed (and encouraged) to hide behind a screen and “speak your truths”. These truths may be true feelings but are they authentic to your values and morals?
Being authentic and real is one of the hardest things to do. You have to be strong and you have to want it. You have to believe in yourself and value your own freedom. Being authentic means you must let go of self-pity, psychological traumas, primitive instinctual behavior and self-preserving fearful ideas.
Whoa. Ya lost me K Jo…
Just hang on. Stay with me.
Yes, this is hard. Hear me out. It’s very hard. That’s why it is a practice.
How much of your life do you avoid? Think back on conversations that you wish you would have had. That person that you wish you had spoken to. Or maybe that person that you should have helped but you didn’t because you were scared. What about that friend that was making a dumb decision that you knew you should have talked to but you didn’t out of fear. This is what I mean.
Believing that you are enough is KEY. You are worthy of authenticity and you are worthy of self-respect. You are enough just as you are. Believing that you are enough is what gives you courage to be authentic and vulnerable. We’re all imperfect. When we don’t believe in ourselves we hide from others and most of all, we hide from ourselves. You don’t need to hustle for a worthiness that you already possess.
Most people hide from authenticity because they are afraid of losing people. Can I tell you that by you NOT being authentic you actually end up losing yourself? People crave REAL people. Don’t worry about trying to impress people or inspiring others. We are all imperfect. Let them be inspired by how you chose to handle your imperfections. Speak your truths but also LIVE your truths.
Hiding from your truth hurts you and the people closest to you. But let me tell you, on the other side of your fear is your TRUE SELF. The person that you were BORN and CALLED to be. You are not limited by your past or the stories that you tell yourself. You are worthy. Right now. Just as you are. You are worthy.
The beautiful thing about being authentic is that you will radiate more pure energy than trying to be the “ideal you”.
And everyone says, OK hippie, what do you mean by that?
I mean that when you are true, with yourself and with others, you won’t have to tell people that you are true, they’ll just know. You will have this aura about you that will become addictive. People will want to be around you because every person craves real people.
Don’t trade authenticity for safety for when you do so you might experience anxiety, depression, addiction, anger and blame. Don’t hide from yourself or from others. Be true for you and for those you love.
Maybe you need someone to talk to. Know that that is more than ok. Talk. Get it out. And when you get it out then start to focus on happiness and being true. Your happiness is solely up to you. Allow yourself to extract happiness from common things around you such as a beautiful day, that extra shot that the barista gave you for free, the smile from a random person, the fact that you have clean underwear to wear (I hope). Start simply.
I’m not saying to go out and confess all of your dirty laundry to the world right this instant (and please don’t post it to facebook) but I am saying that to start becoming authentic you must first start with yourself. Being honest with yourself opens the door to a happier life.
The moment you realize your worth, you shift your energy to attract new people who respect your worth. It shifts your ideas and values to those of truth and happiness. You cannot have true, healthy relationships with people if you are wearing a mask. It first starts with you.
Most people who struggle with authenticity struggle to feel like the belong somewhere. I know this to be true because this used to be me. I’ve felt all of those feels before but I promise you that you will feel true belonging when you present your true, authentic and imperfect self to the world. Your sense of belonging can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance. And your level of self-acceptance will dictate your authenticity. Love yourself and love others the same.
Authenticity is a daily practice of letting go of who we THINK we are supposed to be and embracing who we ARE.
And who the heck cares if people don’t like you for it? People will push-back when you start to change because change freaks people out. But the people who will push-back are those who are also wearing a mask that they are to afraid to take off. So love them harder. Don’t let them get to you. Smile at them and love them.
I know I’m starting to ramble but real is rare and right now this world needs more real and rare than the opposite. We need to be authentic for ourselves and for others. Let go of who you think you should be and start being happy with who you actually are.
Love love love,