I’ve been trying to blog for a month now. I’ve been scared to post because I’m not in the greatest place in my life. I’m scared. I’m lonely and quite frankly I’m highly depressed. Normally I would shy away from posting anything out of fear that people would know my dirty laundry or that people will know that this happy-go-lucky gal isn’t so happy in this season. But I’ve realized that that isn’t fair to me or to the world.
Life is a series of events. Some good and some bad. It’s easy to write about life when it’s amazing. But why is it so hard to write when life isn’t so easy?
Why is it that no one wants to write or talk about life when it’s going poorly? We all need people. It’s times when life is the hardest that we NEED to talk to people. I’ve always been the kind of girl that doesn’t hide her feelings. I want people to know that it’s ok to not be ok.
We all go through seasons of sadness, depression or anxiety. We all have times where we feel alone. If we hide away or sink inside our own shell we make it so much harder on ourselves. It’s harder to overcome when you try to do it all alone. And we also make it harder on the people around us that may be feeling the same.
I’m not healed. I’m not better. But I know that through faith and completely trusting in Christ Jesus that I will overcome. I want to be a person that makes it through so much stronger so that others can see that they can make it through as well.
At EPIC we are on a series right now called Winter is coming. This series focuses on feelings of insignificance, shame, loneliness, depression and death. It’s a hard series for me as I’m going through all of these feelings right now. It’s hard to not completely lose it every week. But I listen. I apply. And I press on.
I think, for me, the hardest part about being honest about what I’m going through is that once people know that you’re struggling they either want to help you or they turn from you. Both of which are fine. Some people don’t understand and don’t know how to help so they just avoid you. And that’s ok. It truly is. But then there are people that have an opinion about everything that they think you should be doing or not doing.
This only makes it so much harder.
Life is hard you guys. No one is perfect. In fact, Romans 3:10 says, It is written, “There is no one righteous, not even one”. It goes on to say that this righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe (Romans 3:22). We are all sinners saved by grace. We are all flawed. We. Are. Human.
We feel all the feels at some point in time. Don’t be afraid to talk. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t. Be. Afraid.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:19
These times will pass, I know. And through it all I will rise up stronger. My goal is to mend and heal and hopefully then can I be a light to someone who is struggling.
I know this post is heavy today but I felt it necessary in an effort to be honest. I love my blog and I love my readers. I want you to know why I am not present as often. I promise to keep going. To keep praying and to keep healing. I also promise to not overwhelm you with sadness because no one wants that but I do want to be honest and real and true.
I love you all. I will get my joy back and come back stronger than I ever was before. Until then I’m sure Ashley and Hannah will post some amazing things.
Next week Ashley and I have a super fun Christmas party that we are going to and we will probably both tag team a fun post about that. I’m actually really looking forward to it. (I bought heels!)
Send some prayers and good vibes my way, friends.
Talk to you soon,